How much homework help is too much?

Most parents agree that being an involved parent means helping your kids out with their homework. However, where’s the balance? The hard part for most of us is knowing when we’re doing too much of the homework and not letting our kids take accountability for their own work. What if you see your child making mistakes? Should you let them hand in homework that is wrong?

Teachers can tell if their students have received too much help with their homework. Some teachers say they have resorted to asking the kids for rough drafts or sources for papers they have handed in, as it was evident that the work they handed in was not their own. Other teachers even quiz the students on homework handed in, much to the embarrassment of over-helped kids.

So let’s ask an expert. What role should parents take in helping their kids out with their homework? Harrison Cooper, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, and author of The Battle over Homework says the best role a parent should take is of ‘stage manager’.

What does this mean? It means providing encouragement, a positive attitude, and making sure your child has a quiet, well-lit place to work. While your child works, be a positive role model, by doing quiet activities nearby, such as reading a book, or paying bills.

Further, he advises you don’t give your children the answers, but rather guidance. He comments: “homework is a great way for kids to develop independent, lifelong learning skills”.

So what about that burning question about whether you should let your kids hand in wrong answers? That, he says, is up to your parenting style. Some parents believe their kids learn from their mistakes, so handing in the occasional wrong answer is a valuable life lesson for their kids. He feels, though, that if you see your child struggling, getting frustrated and repeating mistakes, that this is the time to step in with some guidance. If you are helping out a lot, you should let the teacher know.